58: Generosity to Those Who Offend

"...Ninthly, that meekness is invincible, where it is genuine, and sincere without hypocrisy. For, what can the most insolent do to you, if you stedfastly persist in kindness to him, and, upon occasion, mildly admonish and instruct him thus, at the very time he is attempting to do you an injury?.."

This week, I am reading a quote from Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, written around 171 AD.

Reflection questions:

• How do you approach donors with opinions that are different to your own?

• How can you be intentional about showing kindness and gently instructing while being secure in your cause?

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To explore fundraising coaching deeper and to schedule an exploratory session, visit ServingNonprofits.com.

Music credit: Woeisuhmebop

Transcript

Welcome back. Fundraising can be lonely with seemingly endless task list. This podcast isn't about best practices or trends. It's about the deeper wisdom of the beautiful space where generosity occurs, a weekly five-minute reflection to ground you for the week ahead.

In our work, we can encounter those donors and potential donors who offend us with their opinions. Those opinions may even have to do with our missions and work.  Within our field, there has been a debate about how we interact with them.  Do we still engage with them as supporters of our organizations?  Turning to some ancient wisdom, Marcus Aurelius outlines 9 considerations.  This week, I am reading a portion of a quote from Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, written around 171 AD.

Quote

[As to those who offend me, let me consider,] first, how I am related to them; that we were formed for each other;…

He continues.

Fiftly, many things may be done justly, with another intention than you imagine, on some singular occasions. A man must be well informed of many points, before he can pronounce surely about the actions of others. …Eightly, what worse evils we suffer by anger and sorrow for such things, than by the things themselves, about which those passions arise…. Ninthly, that meekness is invincible, where it is genuine, and sincere without hypocrisy. For, what can the most insolent do to you, if you stedfastly persist in kindness to him, and, upon occasion, mildly admonish and instruct him thus, at the very time he is attempting to do you an injury?

“.… But, this must be done without scorn or reproach; with a genuine good-will; and with a calm mind, not stung with the injury, without ostentation of your philosophy, or any view to draw admiration from spectators; but as designed for him alone, altho’ others may be present. 

…But guard against flattering men, as well as being angry with them: Both are unsociable, and lead to mischief. … Strength, and nerves, and fortitude, attend this disposition, and not the wrathful and repining: the nearer this disposition approaches to an immunity from passion, the nearer is it also to strength and power.

Unquote.

Our work is vital to our communities, and it can be challenging when we encounter opinions that are offensive to our work. Yet, when these donors give, these donors are expressing a desire to belong to our missions, our work.  They may not understand yet how their opinions are offensive.  Or, their opinions may not be as offensive as we might first believe once we begin interacting with them.  The relationship that develops has the opportunity to show kindness, to gently instruct, and perhaps to even show the strength of the cause.  
Let’s reflect on two questions:

How do you approach donors with opinions that are different to your own?

How can you be intentional about showing kindness and gently instructing while being secure in your cause?

Share this podcast if you enjoy these five-minute reflections and subscribe to receive these reflections released every Monday. To explore fundraising coaching deeper, visit Serving Nonprofits dot com. See you next week.