77: Letting the Giver See

"...When we have decided to accept, let us accept with cheerfulness, showing pleasure, and letting the giver see it, so that he or she may at once receive some return for their goodness..."

This week, I am reading a quote from On Benefits by Seneca the Younger, published in 59 AD.

Reflection Question:

• What is one thing you can do this week to let your donors know that you see their gifts and they are welcome to belong to your mission?

Reflection on Quote:

Seneca describes a number of attitudes that can accompany the receiving of a gift from cheerfulness to offense to slavish humility. He points out that when we receive gifts languidly, it leaves the giver in doubt.  It also tells the donor that they are not welcome to join us in the mission; that they don’t belong.  And, that is painful.

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Music credit: Woeisuhmebop

Transcript

Welcome back. This podcast explores the wisdom of generosity, from ancient to modern, and the beautiful space where generosity occurs.

Last week, I introduced a quote about accepting gifts. Let’s look at another aspect of this.  Again, this week, I am reading a quote from On Benefits by Seneca the Younger. Published in 59 AD.  Seneca uses the word “benefit” to denote an act of charity or a donation.

Quote

When we have decided to accept, let us accept with cheerfulness, showing pleasure, and letting the giver see it, so that he or she may at once receive some return for their goodness: for as it is a good reason for rejoicing to see our friend happy, it is a better one to have made him so. Let us, therefore, show how acceptable a gift is by loudly expressing our gratitude for it; and let us do so, not only in the hearing of the giver, but everywhere. He or she who receives a benefit with gratitude, repays the first installment of it.…. Some men or women speak in the most offensive terms of those to whom they owe most. ..no one can be grateful who forgets a kindness, and he or she who remembers it, by so doing proves their gratitude. We ought neither to receive benefits with a fastidious air, nor yet with a slavish humility: for if one does not care for a benefit when it is freshly bestowed--a time at which all presents please us most--what will they do when its first charms have gone off? Others receive with an air of disdain, as much as to say. "I do not want it; but as you wish it so very much, I will allow you to give it to me." Others take benefits languidly, and leave the giver in doubt as to whether they know that they have received them; others barely open their lips in thanks, and would be less offensive if they said nothing. One ought to proportion one's thanks to the importance of the benefit received, and to use the phrases, "You have laid more of us than you think under an obligation," for everyone likes to find their good actions extend further than expected. "You do not know what it is that you have done for me; but you ought to know how much more important it is than you imagine." It is in itself an expression of gratitude to speak of one's self as overwhelmed by kindness. 

Unquote.

Seneca describes a number of attitudes that can accompany the receiving of a gift from cheerfulness to offense to slavish humility. He points out that when we receive gifts languidly, it leaves the giver in doubt.  It also tells the donor that they are not welcome to join us in the mission; that they don’t belong.  And, that is painful.

Let’s reflect on one question:

What is one thing you can do this week to let your donors know that you see their gifts and they are welcome to belong to your mission?

Share this podcast if you enjoy these five-minute reflections and subscribe to receive these reflections released every Monday. To explore fundraising coaching deeper, visit Serving Nonprofits dot com. See you next week.